What I Say And What I Mean
by Sess-GalX50
Summary: Okay...Inu is heartbroken but who's arms will he seek reassurance in? YOU DECIDE IN REVIEWS! shonenai, Yaoi


**A/N: **Hallo every one of my beautiful fans…I am making _another _Inuyasha fanfic…only with this one…I need your help! This is going to be a lovely little yaoi/shonen-ai fic that will leave you all on the brink of tears –twirls in a little circle- may you all enjoy the 'Preload' and have fun voting at the end…n.n la-di-da! Have fun!

**Disc.: **Me? Own Inuyasha…uh…nope.

**Warnings/Caution: **

This fic is rated 'M' for a reason! **Do not take it lightly**! There is blood, a bit of gore and there will be gruesome detail (Now and in the future) also, this is yaoi so if you're a homophobe, I'd ditch now cuz that means MALE X MALE! You've been warned.

---------------------------------**What I Say--------------------------------------------------------- **

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**-----------------------------------------What I mean----------------------------------------------- **

**------------------------------------CHAPTER ONE----------------------------------------------- **

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**----H**e could feel his lungs scorching and aching in complaint to his over-exertion through the woods. His legs pumped in rhythm as his feet thudded the woodland forest with the force that he felt—the force of the anger, the force of the sense of betrayal and the sting of heartbreak that was alive and burning within him.

---**H**e ran like that for as long as his body would allow him before simply falling in a defeated puddle of distraught on the ground, tears falling freely, deftly over his cheeks, as if in a waterfall.

---**T**hese tears clouded his golden pools as his hair, having lost its usual, charming, silvery luster, crumpled over his back and slid over his vision, removing his unwanted sight from his mind-there was nothing to see there anyway.

---**H**e paused in his sobbing for a moment to stare broadly into his sharp claws before-with his right hand-dug each and every one of his five claws into his wrist before pulling them upward-letting small gasps of almost…_pleasure_ escape his lips as he cut himself open desperately.

---**"Why…" **he whispered as he watched the blood stream out his arm and it dampened the once-green grass beneath it, "Why doesn't **THIS **hurt like…" referring to '**THIS ** as the carving he was continuing to indent on the inside of his wrist.

---**H**e bent into his knees, head almost touching the blood-drenched ground, hair already doused in the red liquid. He covered his eyes with his hands, "Like…**this!**" he whispered as he clenched his hand over his heart, mentally ignoring the stinging sensation he felt in his arm as his salty tears mixed into his cuts-but he knew he had to go _back_…if not for her, then to say… **'Goodbye.' **

**---H**e lightly pulled his sleeve up over his blood-painted arm and stood and, as he turned, the images of what had happened only moments before pulsed painfully through his migraine-prone mind…

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**---_About ten minutes ago…_**_--- _

---**_H_**_e had been quietly, casually walking through the forest-his forest-quite near the God-Tree and a storm was brewing so the wind was making the tracking of Naraku impossible _

_-as well as almost any sound or smell traceable further than the human senses. As he neared the God-Tree he heard strange-almost inhuman noises coursing through the air and couldn't help but be curious as to what was happening so close to the tree he'd been pinned to. _

_---**W**hen he reached the circle of trees that surrounded the God-Tree, the site before him stole his breath from hi in the most terrifying way-it felt as though someone had torn out his heart and shred it as-at the same time-paralyzed his lungs of taking in any air whatsoever. _

_---**H**e looked on in horror as he watched his beloved Kagome give in the incisive Koga-watched as she cried out continuous love names as-like rapid fire- he pummeled in and out of her spread legs, which were slowly beginning to lock behind Koga's back. _

_---**H**e was abhorred with the way Kagome lusted after the wolf demon, but his heart was still crushed—first Kikyo had been whoring herself off to Naraku—who had been very disgusted with her and turned her down-only to have her come crawling back to him-Inuyasha- the kind, cocky, half-breed that would warmly welcome her with open arms—but chose not to this time. _

_---**A**nd now…Kagome wasn't an option—no matter what excuse she had, it was over, and when she saw Inuyasha just as she leapt into orgasm with Koga, standing solemnly in the forest he knew she had realized that as well as her eyes widened to the size of golf-balls and then—he ran. _

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**---"Is there anyone in this world for me?" **he pondered aloud and, as he watched the storm clouds rumble above him, he felt the rain gently join his own teardrops upon his cheeks, the forest sounds seemed to fade away into the distance as the storm rumbled on.

---**H**e felt his feet suddenly encounter water and let his head drop to see where he was and froze at his discovery-his feet had carried him to the-now desolate-village where his mother had raised him as a child. He was in the very river that the bridge he had played on as a young boy once towered-now it lay-having sagged in the center until it finally must've crashed into the water-in the shape of a 'V' spread at an obtuse angle in the center of the river so that either side stuck out of the water like wings.

---**T**he once-populated village now lay in ruins on the other side of the slowly swelling river, houses groaned and cried out as water filled their already-sagging roofs. This village wouldn't even be here after a few more storms.

---**H**is softly-lit golden eyes twitched over the places of his past-now covered with moss, vines and weeds, it made him long for something-something he'd never really had in all his life…someplace to call home…and someone that loved him for him-not because he had silver hair or fuzzy dog ears-someone that would love him and care for him because he is himself and nothing more…

**…But…Who? **

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**A/N: **Okay, all you peeps, this is the part where you decide where this story is going to go from here. Here are the options for a couple (With Inu) (This is Yaoi no matter what!)

Naraku…………………Bankotsu…………………Akitoki……………………

Hojo……………………OC (made-up by me)……Miroku…………………….

Sesshomaru……………Kohaku…………………..Byakuya……………………

Inu No Taishou………..Menomaru……………….Hakudoshi…………………..

Okay…I think I've given you plenty of options…n.n Have fun picking…some of these have never been done before so I'd be the first…which would be so cool… but everything is up to you, my reviewers, so review and VOTE! n.n Sayounara!


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